“Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.”
—Anonymous
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”
—Mark Twain
“Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”
—Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.”
—Bob Hope
parade.com, 101 Funny Quotes That Will Make You LOL!